MY LIFE, MY WAY, AND MY STORY

It's been a long time since I am not stopping by to pour my thoughts on this blog. While writing this post, the rain is accompanying me with a serene atmosphere wrapping around my soul.  The weather has been crazy hot lately due to climate change. The rainy season comes later than expected by the local climate authority. But now, the breeze and calming rain say hi again. I think I am not gonna further rambling about the introduction of this writing. This time, I would love to share some insights about marriage that I have been into for one year and two months.  I can confidently say that I am utterly grateful for my husband. He is compassionate and gentle and cares for me and his family well. We both have been making a great team so far.  However, there's always a storm amidst the joyful rain. Though we have known for years, it doesn't guarantee a smooth, soft path to walk on. There are always some rocky roads along the way. Just so you know, we are at the same age, only se

"Lagi-lagi perempuan. Entah tiada habisnya kalau membahas tentang puan. Rasanya ada saja sisi dari kami yang memantik untuk dibicarakan. Walaupun, kami sebenarnya tidak tahu kenapa selalu kami yang menjadi topik hangat." It has been a long time since I am not writing on this blog. It feels like ages. There were tons of events that happened in the past two years that were life-changing for me. One of which is that I am now married to my best friend who spent his time with me for five years before we decided to tie the knot.  Given the fact that I am now a wife, I moved with my husband to another city where I never had any experience to live and whatsoever before. But, that's the life you cannot predict, doesn't it? Luckily, my job doesn't require me to stay, meaning that I am working from home full-time.  Well, I am now an SEO writer who only needs my brain, creativity, laptop, and of course, internet connection to work. That's my privilege I should admit since

In this devastating moment, I realize Time is everything It cannot be rewound, nor repeated It can only be remembered I also acknowledge  Someone you love is matter But he will return to the Creator eventually And you cannot pause it, nor stop it It feels hurt only to imagine How to have such an event happens in a second Even you are not allowed to gather yourself Or to process everything It must be painful To not knowing what to do next Whom to have your back after having a bad day at work Whom will give all he has, only for you The world crumbles in front of you The dreams fade away The future looks blurry Tomorrow? You do not have a word to say It is okay to have a heavy grief After losing a soulmate you love dearly A soulmate you are extremely proud of A soulmate who fights for you 'til his last breath At the end of the day, you may heal Even though not completely But through His mercy You will heal, standing on your feet again And from heaven, He smilingly sees you with relief

It will not be easy for everyone It does not feel make sense It seems so unfair The world feels like against you with full power now You are now crumble Your world flipped over in a blink of an eye As if you are not allowed to breath You are out of breath Even to say a word, you cannot. You are out of words Time is frozen now for you The clock stops ticking You have nowhere to go You cannot run from yourself You cannot escape from your own feeling Your own grief You just cannot think straight After all these sudden events that collapse you You do not have someone to rely anymore on You do not have someone to talk to There are a lot of people trying to have your back But inside, you are so lonely After he passes... Someone you deeply loves Someone whose world you put on Someone who understands you dearly Leave you without saying goodbye It hurts to be left like that It is painful When you are apart not by your will But, destiny Death is not our desire Death do us apart from the one we l

summer break kali ini agak berbeda buat gue. bukan hanya karena gue mendekati masa-masa sidang dan pada akhirnya akan balik ke Indonesia, but mentally, I am extremely under pressure. awalnya gue nggak ngerti kenapa gue jadi pusing sendiri, males-malesan, gampang kesulut, disconnecting myself from the world, maunya di kamar aja 24/7. sampai pada akhirnya, gue scrolling di twitter dan nemu istilah burn out. Source: @wantja beberapa tanda-tanda burn out, seperti yang gue sebutkan diatas, sedang gue alami saat ini. bahkan, gue sampai harus konseling ke psikolog (yang mana sangat membantu) supaya gue stay sane. even though konseling ini dimaksudkan untuk kondisi gue yang lain yang nggak perlu gue bagikan disini. setelah gue tarik ke belakang, rupanya gue jadi burn out karena sebelum-sebelumnya gue udah worked damn hard to finish my thesis, which eventually I did. however, dampaknya baru kerasa sekarang. ketika gue udah menyelesaikan tugas akhir, professor gue menyarankan untuk menulis jurna

It has been a while since my last visit here. I still save some drafts of my posts that I would like to share but I think I need more time to complete the writing. I also recently got vaccinated against COVID19 and now my left arm is sore. Hence, I decided to write this light post instead.  Well, hi! I guess? How are you doing? I hope those who are reading my post now are doing good. If not, I hope you will soon find your tune.  A lot of events happened in the past 3 months, from March to June. I even was able to lose some weight off (yay!). After that, I had my hemorrhoid back and it was my breaking point since I had had the procedure to remove it. But yeah, sometimes, you have to admit that you contribute to worsening your own health, have not you? However, I am 100% good now. I managed to recover and it was the longest period of recovering from a hemorrhoid I have ever gone through! I wish I never have that back again. Hopefully. Currently, I am working my ass off on my master's