MY LIFE, MY WAY, AND MY STORY

Setelah beberapa bulan gue memutuskan untuk resign dari pekerjaan sebagai SEO content writer , gue, bisa dibilang, masih dalam fase vakum. Hal ini dikarenakan gue masih menunggu surat keputusan (SK) dari Kementerian tempat gue bernaung untuk mengajar sebagai dosen.  Seperti yang udah gue tulis di post sebelumnya, gue lolos tes seleksi CPNS 2023 di formasi dosen. Tapi, proses dari lolos, pemberkasan, sampai pada saat gue mulai mengajar nanti ternyata cukup panjang.  Berangkat dari background gue yang dibesarkan oleh keluarga "swasta", proses ini menurut gue sangat lama. Gue mulai tes dari bulan Oktober 2023 dan diputuskan lolos di bulan Februari 2024. Tapi, sampai saat ini, SK dosen gue belum keluar.  Apa boleh buat? Gue pun harus menjalani gap time as a housewife. Nonetheless, without me having any knowledge, God surprises me with another blessing . Ditengah kebosanan gue menunggu SK tersebut, ternyata gue mendapat rezeki yang emang selama ini gue dan suami udah rencan...

Setelah lebih dari dua tahun gue memutuskan untuk memulai karir pekerjaan dengan menjadi seorang SEO content writer, this month I'm officially signing out . Keputusan ini sebenarnya udah lama pengen gue buat, tapi banyak pertimbangan yang harus gue pikirin sebelum mengambil langkah untuk mengundurkan diri dari pekerjaan gue.  Apakah gue menyesal untuk resign ? Nggak. Gue ngambil keputusan ini setelah melakukan diskusi yang matang dengan diri sendiri dan suami. Pengalaman selama bekerja ini sangat bermanfaat bagi gue yang awalnya buta dengan adanya job diversity yang ada di dunia ini, haha.  Gue pikir, pekerjaan itu ya sebatas di kantor atau yang punya titel profesi aja, contohnya dokter, dosen, perawat, petani, dsb. Ternyata setelah nyemplung disini, gue jadi tau kalau kita bisa dapat banyak kesempatan yang luas kalau kita bisa lihat peluang dan membuka mata lebar-lebar. Di tahun-tahun gue bekerja sebagai SEO content writer, pada akhirnya, gue menyadari bahwa ada yang hilang ...

It's been a long time since I am not stopping by to pour my thoughts on this blog. While writing this post, the rain is accompanying me with a serene atmosphere wrapping around my soul.  The weather has been crazy hot lately due to climate change. The rainy season comes later than expected by the local climate authority. But now, the breeze and calming rain say hi again. I think I am not gonna further rambling about the introduction of this writing. This time, I would love to share some insights about marriage that I have been into for one year and two months.  I can confidently say that I am utterly grateful for my husband. He is compassionate and gentle and cares for me and his family well. We both have been making a great team so far.  However, there's always a storm amidst the joyful rain. Though we have known for years, it doesn't guarantee a smooth, soft path to walk on. There are always some rocky roads along the way. Just so you know, we are at the same age, only ...

"Lagi-lagi perempuan. Entah tiada habisnya kalau membahas tentang puan. Rasanya ada saja sisi dari kami yang memantik untuk dibicarakan. Walaupun, kami sebenarnya tidak tahu kenapa selalu kami yang menjadi topik hangat." It has been a long time since I am not writing on this blog. It feels like ages. There were tons of events that happened in the past two years that were life-changing for me. One of which is that I am now married to my best friend who spent his time with me for five years before we decided to tie the knot.  Given the fact that I am now a wife, I moved with my husband to another city where I never had any experience to live and whatsoever before. But, that's the life you cannot predict, doesn't it? Luckily, my job doesn't require me to stay, meaning that I am working from home full-time.  Well, I am now an SEO writer who only needs my brain, creativity, laptop, and of course, internet connection to work. That's my privilege I should admit since...

In this devastating moment, I realize Time is everything It cannot be rewound, nor repeated It can only be remembered I also acknowledge  Someone you love is matter But he will return to the Creator eventually And you cannot pause it, nor stop it It feels hurt only to imagine How to have such an event happens in a second Even you are not allowed to gather yourself Or to process everything It must be painful To not knowing what to do next Whom to have your back after having a bad day at work Whom will give all he has, only for you The world crumbles in front of you The dreams fade away The future looks blurry Tomorrow? You do not have a word to say It is okay to have a heavy grief After losing a soulmate you love dearly A soulmate you are extremely proud of A soulmate who fights for you 'til his last breath At the end of the day, you may heal Even though not completely But through His mercy You will heal, standing on your feet again And from heaven, He smilingly sees you with relief...

It will not be easy for everyone It does not feel make sense It seems so unfair The world feels like against you with full power now You are now crumble Your world flipped over in a blink of an eye As if you are not allowed to breath You are out of breath Even to say a word, you cannot. You are out of words Time is frozen now for you The clock stops ticking You have nowhere to go You cannot run from yourself You cannot escape from your own feeling Your own grief You just cannot think straight After all these sudden events that collapse you You do not have someone to rely anymore on You do not have someone to talk to There are a lot of people trying to have your back But inside, you are so lonely After he passes... Someone you deeply loves Someone whose world you put on Someone who understands you dearly Leave you without saying goodbye It hurts to be left like that It is painful When you are apart not by your will But, destiny Death is not our desire Death do us apart from the one we l...

summer break kali ini agak berbeda buat gue. bukan hanya karena gue mendekati masa-masa sidang dan pada akhirnya akan balik ke Indonesia, but mentally, I am extremely under pressure. awalnya gue nggak ngerti kenapa gue jadi pusing sendiri, males-malesan, gampang kesulut, disconnecting myself from the world, maunya di kamar aja 24/7. sampai pada akhirnya, gue scrolling di twitter dan nemu istilah burn out. Source: @wantja beberapa tanda-tanda burn out, seperti yang gue sebutkan diatas, sedang gue alami saat ini. bahkan, gue sampai harus konseling ke psikolog (yang mana sangat membantu) supaya gue stay sane. even though konseling ini dimaksudkan untuk kondisi gue yang lain yang nggak perlu gue bagikan disini. setelah gue tarik ke belakang, rupanya gue jadi burn out karena sebelum-sebelumnya gue udah worked damn hard to finish my thesis, which eventually I did. however, dampaknya baru kerasa sekarang. ketika gue udah menyelesaikan tugas akhir, professor gue menyarankan untuk menulis jurna...

It has been a while since my last visit here. I still save some drafts of my posts that I would like to share but I think I need more time to complete the writing. I also recently got vaccinated against COVID19 and now my left arm is sore. Hence, I decided to write this light post instead.  Well, hi! I guess? How are you doing? I hope those who are reading my post now are doing good. If not, I hope you will soon find your tune.  A lot of events happened in the past 3 months, from March to June. I even was able to lose some weight off (yay!). After that, I had my hemorrhoid back and it was my breaking point since I had had the procedure to remove it. But yeah, sometimes, you have to admit that you contribute to worsening your own health, have not you? However, I am 100% good now. I managed to recover and it was the longest period of recovering from a hemorrhoid I have ever gone through! I wish I never have that back again. Hopefully. Currently, I am working my ass off on my mas...

halo! it has been a long time I did not write here. yep, my hands were full of books as I had my final exams last week. it was tough, yet I made it. what a relief! anyway, how are you? I hope you are doing great! 2020 was a crazy year, was not it? and, 2021 probably gonna be challenging too. but, at least, we are prepared and have learned so much from the past year. I wish. [source: personal documentation] ah yeah. the moment I am writing this, the winter is slowly saying goodbye. the spring starts to warmly welcome us. I enjoyed the winter so much like a kid. did not care what people say. just experienced this rare weather to the fullest! I am a "tropical girl", what did you expect when I saw the snow?  in 2019, we did not have winter that much. a lack of snow and pretty warm. however, this year was totally different. my friends and I even were able to sled, made several snowmen, threw the snow at each other, even hiked to the mountain to see the frozen lake, called Morskie ...

Hari ini langit diatasku berwarna biru muda Matahari pun bersinar cerah, walaupun masih malu-malu bersembunyi di balik awan Suasana membuat hati jauh lebih hangat Seakan tiada beban yang berarti di pundak ini Sayangnya, orang lain tidak bernasib sama Langit di atasnya berwarna kelabu Muram, sendu, namun tidak syahdu Rintik hujan pun menemani perasaan rindu Rindu akan seseorang yang tidak akan kembali  Karena telah dipanggil oleh Sang Ilahi Mencoba menata hati yang remuk hari ini Akibat kehilangan seseorang yang dicintai Kematian memang sering begitu Tidak pernah pandang bulu kepada siapa ia akan bertemu Entah besok, lusa, hari ini, atau bertahun-tahun lagi Ia adalah keniscayaan bagi mereka yang bernyawa hari ini Atau bahkan, detik ini Bulan Februari harusnya menjadi bulan terindah bagi putrinya Mengucapkan janji sehidup semati dengan pria pujaan hati Pria yang juga dipilihkan dan diridhoi Sayangnya, Allah punya rencana yang jauh lebih indah untuknya Hari ini, 10 Januari 2021, di ha...

 Halo guys! It has been a very long time I have not written a post here. I think it was in April when my last writing was posted. Phewww~ A lot of things happened from May to November. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, we could not move freely as before. It saddens me more knowing the fact that Europe now is struggling with the second wave of the coronavirus. The case is growing rapidly compared to the previous wave in March and April. During the summer break, the case was much lower. Thus, the mobility of the people quite rose. From a psychological point of view, it was understandable as they had been through a hard situation in the first wave. Students could not go to school, some worried about the money as the job opportunities were lacking, and others merely tried to stay sane to ensure the stability of their mental health. But thankfully, this semester some universities conduct laboratory and practical activities which I extremely glad for. Last semester, I could not obtain ...

Grandpa, you had passed away for about 13 years now But, sometimes it still feels like a dream I often feel like you are still around You just go for a while to buy me foods Like you used to be As time goes by Your absence is massively growing in my heart I used to bawl when you did not realize my desire I even threw toys, clothes, and foods to you when I was mad We often fight over the tv remote I like to see cartoons and you want to watch football I do miss those wonderful moments Now, I can only send you prayers Sometimes cry over you when I remember all those beautiful memories that I cannot repeat I am so lucky that I was able to spend our last moments together by spending my two-week holiday at your house People say that I am your dearest grandchildren Even your children said "I have never been treated like Grandpa treats you" And I am proudly calling you as my favorite grandpa ever Grandpa, do you see me from above? I dreamed about you a few days ...

Halo! It has been long time aku ga nulis di blog lagi. Selain karena mager (biasanya kalo kosong skrg lbh suka mantengin twitter atau youtube, ehe), situasi disini cukup bikin parno tapi tetep harus kalem hehe. Ya, seperti yang kalian tau kalo sekarang lagi heboh banget sama virus korona yang konon katanya pertama kali menginfeksi salah satu "patient zero" di kota Wuhan, China. Aku tipe orang yang selalu mencoba "well-prepared" disaat terjadi hal-hal demikian. Sejak pertama kasus itu mencuat, aku udah mantengin berita-berita di Al-Jazeera, CNN, VOA, South China, Jakarta Post dan lain sebagainya. Tujuannya biar nggak kudet sama apa yang terjadi di dunia ini dan biar bisa get ready kalo itu virus nyampe ke Eropa. Katowice, Poland (2019) Sekitar bulan Januari atau Februari, korona akhirnya sampai juga ke Jerman--negara tetangga Polandia sebelah timur (kalo diliat dari peta ya). Diikuti lagi di beberapa negara lain, seperti Finlandia, Swedia, Spanyol, Switzer...

dalam teduh matanya selalu ada sesuatu yang tersimpan jauh terpendam tanpa ada satupun yang tau apa dibalik lengkungan senyumnya ada beban yang bersandar di pundak lelah karena tuntutan atau karena memainkan peran malam yang menjadi saksi bagaimana hatinya berjuang bertarung melawan pikiran-pikiran yang diam-diam sembunyi di alam bawah sadarnya

Manusia, Pintar memainkan peran Sampai lupa kalau diatasnya, ada yang mengendalikan Seringnya menunda Seakan besok itu ada di dalam genggamannya Padahal, waktu itu siapa sih yang punya? Manusia, Suka membanggakan usahanya Seolah yang menjadi pencapaiannya sekarang adalah berkat ikhtiarnya Mereka nggak tau aja Ada doa-doa yang berperan di dalamnya Manusia, Kadang terlalu tinggi hatinya Terlalu meluap amarahnya Sampai lupa, kalau energinya sering terbuang sia-sia Waktunya menguap begitu saja Manusia, Baru sadar kalau sudah kehilangan Sebelumnya, sering menyianyiakan Hingga yang tersisa hanya penyesalan Manusia, Memang tempat salah dan lupa Tapi masih suka menyalahkan keadaan Atau takdir yang diberikan Iya, kita termasuk di dalamnya Tapi kita masih bisa berdoa Juga masih bisa berusaha Menjadi manusia yang lebih baik di setiap harinya By: Casilda Aulia Rakhmadina

Halo, assalamu'alaikum. Alhamdulillah, aku balik lagi buat nulis disini. Setelah semalam aku nulis tentang pengalaman menjalani sekolah bahasa, kali ini aku mau berbagi cerita tentang perjalananku selama tahun 2019. Mungkin sedikit telat ya untuk nulis tentang refleksi tahun 2019. Tapi, better late than never, huh? Tahun kemarin bisa dibilang tahun terberatku. Tahun dimana aku berusaha mencari jati diri. Berusaha mengerti apa kata hati. Mau dibawa kemana langkah kaki ini pergi? Mau disini atau diajak berlari? Ah, pokoknya nggak bisa diungkapin dengan kata-kata, betapa aku masih nggak menyangka bisa ada di posisi saat ini. Ini ceritaku yang pengen aku bagi denganmu. Awal tahun. Setelah lulus dan resmi di wisuda tahun 2018, tepatnya bulan Oktober, aku mulai memantapkan hati untuk menyusun rencana demi rencana masa depan. Awalnya, aku kira bakal mudah karena aku terbiasa membuat rencana dan menjalankan sesuai apa yang udah aku tulis. Jujur, aku tipikal orang yang nggak suka ...

Halo, assalamu'alaikum. Rasanya udah lama banget aku nggak nulis di blog ini. Hampir 3 bulan, ya? Sampai-sampai ayahku nanya "kamu kok nggak pernah nulis lagi?". Rupanya beliau juga menjadi salah satu orang yang menikmati tulisanku, hehe.  Nggak kerasa, udah lebih dari 4 bulan aku ada di benua seberang, benua biru, Eropa. Tepatnya di negara Polandia. Di tulisan kali ini, aku mau berbagi pengalaman  bagaimana rasanya belajar bahasa lokal atau yang biasa disebut Polish language (bahasa Polandia). Jadi, langsung aja ke cerita-ceritanya ya! Aku belajar Polish udah sekitar 4 bulan atau equal dengan 1 semester. Jujur, selama 4 bulan ini rasanya menyenangkan bisa belajar bahasa baru yang nggak aku tau sama sekali sebelumnya. Ya, nggak dipungkiri, awalnya cukup struggling belajar bahasa ini. Polish punya banyak sekali aturan atau grammar dibanding dengan English . Misalnya, aturan terkait gender . Polish punya 3 jenis aturan gender, yaitu maskulinum (he) , femi...

Halo. It has been long time not writing anything on this blog. In the middle of my hectic schedule of Polish preparatory course, let me return to my hobby for a minute, writing. How have you been? I hope you do not mind if I share one or two things here. Actually it is not that important but I just want to express what I am feeling during this "not so hard nor easy" journey. As the time goes by, I am starting to enjoy my rhythm of living in Poland. The people are nice and friendly. Until now, I, myself, never experience such bad things, like racism, hate speech, or stuff like that related my race, religion, or skin. Sometimes, I get rare staring on the way I styled, particularly because I wear hijab as my religion identity which is uncommon here. Yet, it is still acceptable (in my opinion). Otherwise, my friends ever got a hate speech from someone who was speaking in Polish while insulting them. But, thankfully, there were Polish people who helped them and got away th...