MY LIFE, MY WAY, AND MY STORY

In this devastating moment, I realize Time is everything It cannot be rewound, nor repeated It can only be remembered I also acknowledge  Someone you love is matter But he will return to the Creator eventually And you cannot pause it, nor stop it It feels hurt only to imagine How to have such an event happens in a second Even you are not allowed to gather yourself Or to process everything It must be painful To not knowing what to do next Whom to have your back after having a bad day at work Whom will give all he has, only for you The world crumbles in front of you The dreams fade away The future looks blurry Tomorrow? You do not have a word to say It is okay to have a heavy grief After losing a soulmate you love dearly A soulmate you are extremely proud of A soulmate who fights for you 'til his last breath At the end of the day, you may heal Even though not completely But through His mercy You will heal, standing on your feet again And from heaven, He smilingly sees you with relief...

It will not be easy for everyone It does not feel make sense It seems so unfair The world feels like against you with full power now You are now crumble Your world flipped over in a blink of an eye As if you are not allowed to breath You are out of breath Even to say a word, you cannot. You are out of words Time is frozen now for you The clock stops ticking You have nowhere to go You cannot run from yourself You cannot escape from your own feeling Your own grief You just cannot think straight After all these sudden events that collapse you You do not have someone to rely anymore on You do not have someone to talk to There are a lot of people trying to have your back But inside, you are so lonely After he passes... Someone you deeply loves Someone whose world you put on Someone who understands you dearly Leave you without saying goodbye It hurts to be left like that It is painful When you are apart not by your will But, destiny Death is not our desire Death do us apart from the one we l...

summer break kali ini agak berbeda buat gue. bukan hanya karena gue mendekati masa-masa sidang dan pada akhirnya akan balik ke Indonesia, but mentally, I am extremely under pressure. awalnya gue nggak ngerti kenapa gue jadi pusing sendiri, males-malesan, gampang kesulut, disconnecting myself from the world, maunya di kamar aja 24/7. sampai pada akhirnya, gue scrolling di twitter dan nemu istilah burn out. Source: @wantja beberapa tanda-tanda burn out, seperti yang gue sebutkan diatas, sedang gue alami saat ini. bahkan, gue sampai harus konseling ke psikolog (yang mana sangat membantu) supaya gue stay sane. even though konseling ini dimaksudkan untuk kondisi gue yang lain yang nggak perlu gue bagikan disini. setelah gue tarik ke belakang, rupanya gue jadi burn out karena sebelum-sebelumnya gue udah worked damn hard to finish my thesis, which eventually I did. however, dampaknya baru kerasa sekarang. ketika gue udah menyelesaikan tugas akhir, professor gue menyarankan untuk menulis jurna...

It has been a while since my last visit here. I still save some drafts of my posts that I would like to share but I think I need more time to complete the writing. I also recently got vaccinated against COVID19 and now my left arm is sore. Hence, I decided to write this light post instead.  Well, hi! I guess? How are you doing? I hope those who are reading my post now are doing good. If not, I hope you will soon find your tune.  A lot of events happened in the past 3 months, from March to June. I even was able to lose some weight off (yay!). After that, I had my hemorrhoid back and it was my breaking point since I had had the procedure to remove it. But yeah, sometimes, you have to admit that you contribute to worsening your own health, have not you? However, I am 100% good now. I managed to recover and it was the longest period of recovering from a hemorrhoid I have ever gone through! I wish I never have that back again. Hopefully. Currently, I am working my ass off on my mas...

halo! it has been a long time I did not write here. yep, my hands were full of books as I had my final exams last week. it was tough, yet I made it. what a relief! anyway, how are you? I hope you are doing great! 2020 was a crazy year, was not it? and, 2021 probably gonna be challenging too. but, at least, we are prepared and have learned so much from the past year. I wish. [source: personal documentation] ah yeah. the moment I am writing this, the winter is slowly saying goodbye. the spring starts to warmly welcome us. I enjoyed the winter so much like a kid. did not care what people say. just experienced this rare weather to the fullest! I am a "tropical girl", what did you expect when I saw the snow?  in 2019, we did not have winter that much. a lack of snow and pretty warm. however, this year was totally different. my friends and I even were able to sled, made several snowmen, threw the snow at each other, even hiked to the mountain to see the frozen lake, called Morskie ...

Hari ini langit diatasku berwarna biru muda Matahari pun bersinar cerah, walaupun masih malu-malu bersembunyi di balik awan Suasana membuat hati jauh lebih hangat Seakan tiada beban yang berarti di pundak ini Sayangnya, orang lain tidak bernasib sama Langit di atasnya berwarna kelabu Muram, sendu, namun tidak syahdu Rintik hujan pun menemani perasaan rindu Rindu akan seseorang yang tidak akan kembali  Karena telah dipanggil oleh Sang Ilahi Mencoba menata hati yang remuk hari ini Akibat kehilangan seseorang yang dicintai Kematian memang sering begitu Tidak pernah pandang bulu kepada siapa ia akan bertemu Entah besok, lusa, hari ini, atau bertahun-tahun lagi Ia adalah keniscayaan bagi mereka yang bernyawa hari ini Atau bahkan, detik ini Bulan Februari harusnya menjadi bulan terindah bagi putrinya Mengucapkan janji sehidup semati dengan pria pujaan hati Pria yang juga dipilihkan dan diridhoi Sayangnya, Allah punya rencana yang jauh lebih indah untuknya Hari ini, 10 Januari 2021, di ha...

 Halo guys! It has been a very long time I have not written a post here. I think it was in April when my last writing was posted. Phewww~ A lot of things happened from May to November. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, we could not move freely as before. It saddens me more knowing the fact that Europe now is struggling with the second wave of the coronavirus. The case is growing rapidly compared to the previous wave in March and April. During the summer break, the case was much lower. Thus, the mobility of the people quite rose. From a psychological point of view, it was understandable as they had been through a hard situation in the first wave. Students could not go to school, some worried about the money as the job opportunities were lacking, and others merely tried to stay sane to ensure the stability of their mental health. But thankfully, this semester some universities conduct laboratory and practical activities which I extremely glad for. Last semester, I could not obtain ...