A year of marriage: A lesson to learn

It's been a long time since I am not stopping by to pour my thoughts on this blog. While writing this post, the rain is accompanying me with a serene atmosphere wrapping around my soul. 

The weather has been crazy hot lately due to climate change. The rainy season comes later than expected by the local climate authority. But now, the breeze and calming rain say hi again.

I think I am not gonna further rambling about the introduction of this writing. This time, I would love to share some insights about marriage that I have been into for one year and two months. 

I can confidently say that I am utterly grateful for my husband. He is compassionate and gentle and cares for me and his family well. We both have been making a great team so far. 

However, there's always a storm amidst the joyful rain.

Though we have known for years, it doesn't guarantee a smooth, soft path to walk on. There are always some rocky roads along the way.

Just so you know, we are at the same age, only separated by an 8-month age gap. Our egos sometimes drive us mad by continuous debate on any little things. As the first daughter in my family, I tend to rule the world, steering the relationship despite knowing it heads to something no good. 

The argumentation frequently stems from unnecessary issues, such as today's menu or who's gonna take the ablution first for praying Maghrib. Yeah, it's as simple as that.

But as time goes by, we can somehow identify each other's do's and don'ts. Thankfully, both of us love to discuss anything. So, those above-mentioned problems are easily fixed. 

I also learned a lot about how to manage my egos, knowing that marriage takes two parties to collaborate. Having a partner means he/she is your friend, family, brother/sister, and, of course, soulmate to whom you can pour your heart and mind. That being said, I must acknowledge his flaws, just like how he can handle mine. 

Sometimes, we tend to think that we have given our best. However, we feel that our partner is not like that. But in fact, he has tried to give us whatever we need. Here's our battleground with our egos.

Going through this marriage has taught me a lot about the meaning of give and take. Whether it's understanding each other, forgiving each other, compromising, or even recognizing each other's flaws and strengths. Marriage isn't just rainbows and butterflies.

As people say, getting married actually adds more problems, and yeah, that's true. We're joined by someone from a different background, which automatically influences their thoughts and personality. In my opinion, that's where the artistry lies.

I once had an incident where I had a fight with my husband. At that time, we were still living in a rented house with two rooms and one bathroom. When the war began, I, who was used to living in a spacious house and being able to go anywhere when in a bad mood, was forced to choose between the main room and the guest room.

At that moment, my husband was in the main room, and the guest room became my temporary 'storage.' Automatically, I had no choice but the bathroom. There, I cried (which is a bit dramatic because the fight wasn't that intense haha).

At the same time, I realized that I had to face the problem, not run away. The fact that I would be forever with my husband (AMEN!) made me reconsider the decision to 'hide' during arguments. Instead, I became aware that I needed to be more accepting of shortcomings and ready to forgive.

Remember, our partner is our choice with all its risks. Knowing forever is a long time, so we must choose our partner wisely. Luckily, I found a husband who can be discussed with, is open to differing opinions, and can always calm things down when the atmosphere gets heated.

Communication is the key to a relationship that runs smoothly. Smooth here doesn't mean perfect, but more about handling things wisely with good communication. 

In my humble opinion, marriage is a fun ride, with a long rocky road but exciting when you have found someone to drive with. Hope, you can also find your other half, at a good time, whenever you are ready.